Everyone remembers their first love. They remember when they first met, that first gaze, the first verbal exchange, and the time they first touched each other, incidental or otherwise. For some, it was a person; for others, it was a sport, a car, a sports car, a pet, or a passion. The atmosphere, whether smells or sounds, will permanently be engraved in your mind and are triggers that reinvigorate the fond memories and passions. I can remember my first introduction to Jesus and carry permanent phrenic imprints of the same.
Filled With Love
(excerpt from https://newheartoutreach.org/about/ ) “After promising my Mom I would go to Church, I finally kept my word and went. The old, dilapidated schoolhouse had seen better days. The ceiling had cracks in it, the roof needed replacing, and the carpet was a sickly green color. While the physical appearance of the place was in sorry shape, the spirit of the place was alive. They actually enjoyed being there. “Singing time” was nothing like the dead-crusty Methodist church I grew up in; it was ALIVE! The people possessed something I didn’t have; they had a peace I could only dream about. They knew Jesus, and He knew them.
As they gathered to pray over the sick, I bowed my head in respect. I had no idea what was going on. I did, however, notice the nasty green carpet again. For some strange reason I began to get choked up…” Snap out of it, Don,” I told myself. Then someone got me a tissue because I had tears streaming down my face. That was it… I HAD TO GET OUT OF THERE!
I left for work and was crying my eyes out (I probably shouldn’t have been driving). Then – out of the blue – I started laughing like I heard the best joke ever. Then I cried – then I laughed. The weight of the world was off me. I asked myself out loud, “How come nobody has ever told me about this?!?” Now, I make it a point to tell people about Jesus and how He can give you a New Heart!”
Driven by Love
After this experience, everything changed for me. I no longer cared about hockey, computers, parties, or immorality. All I wanted to do was preach Jesus. In my zeal, I matriculated into Bible College to become a Pastor. While pursuing this newfound passion, I became distracted when I met the woman of my dreams. We married, she became pregnant, and the cares of life ensued. After losing my job, we moved to GA to work with a friend in ministry. One thing led to another, and I ended up in Houston, TX.
Second Love
What happened? How did I go from being in love with Jesus on cloud nine, pursuing full-time ministry, to living with my in-laws in Houston and working a menial job? Where did the pastoral dreams go? What happened to my dream of preaching God’s word and leading the world to Jesus? How did my passion become relegated to the backseat of my life? I had a wife and a newborn and had to work several jobs to provide for them. After all, if I didn’t, I was worse than an infidel. (1 Tim 5:8)
It wasn’t as if I apostatized Jesus and left the faith; I still hated evil, exposed false teachers, and even continued street preaching through the years. This reminds me of Revelations 2:2-5 “I know thy works, and thy labor, and thy patience, and how thou canst not bear them which are evil: and thou hast tried them which say they are apostles and are not, and hast found them liars: 3 And hast borne, and hast patience, and for my name’s sake hast labored, and hast not fainted. 4 Nevertheless, I have somewhat against thee because thou hast left thy first love. 5 Remember therefore from whence thou art fallen, and repent, and do the first works; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will remove thy candlestick out of his place, except thou repent.”
My heart was divided just as Paul mentioned in 1 Corinthians 7:28-33: “Such shall have trouble in the flesh” and, “he that is married cares for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.” I had left my first love for a second. My thoughts and desires inevitably drifted to my wife and kids. My existence no longer centered on how to live as a servant of Jesus. I had exchanged my love for Christ alone for family.
Spread the Love
Loving your family is not evil or wicked; not at all. But replacing your passion for Christ with the worries of life is. I had good intentions, a good work ethic, and good morals. But my drive to become a pastor faded, for the most part. My ministry desires were resurrected while I battled for my life with cancer. But after losing a pastoral bid by one vote (twice), I was done. “What’s the point?” was my dominant thought. I wasn’t interested in “playing church” anyhow.
As I mentioned, my salvation experience greatly impacted me. Growing up, I attended the Methodist Church with my family and never heard anything about being born again. I knew of Jesus and John 3:16 but didn’t know Him intimately. After asking why nobody ever told me about this, I committed my life to evangelizing this life-altering secret. Becoming a pastor was the best way I knew to accomplish that. Little did I know a lay minister could do the same without a pulpit, politics, and headaches.
Remember Your First Love
In Revelation 2:5, Jesus said (paraphrased), “Recollect or rehearse in your mind what place you have run off course and reprioritize your efforts.” He tells us to remember the feelings of freedom the Lord blessed us with when we first committed our lives to Him, how he quickened his love in our hearts and gave us unspeakable joy. Suddenly, nothing else mattered in life; it all revolved around Him. Remember these thoughts, feelings, and desires, and reprioritize your life. Pursue Jesus with all your heart again!
Finally, Jesus warns at the end of verse 5 that if you don’t realign your life for Him, he will suddenly remove your candlestick from its place. He’ll remove your light, snuffing out the former fiery wick. How sobering. The prior illumination becomes dark, impacting your sight and awareness. The lamp to your feet and light to your path ceases, rendering all forward progress risky (at best). For many, lukewarmness sets in, and they aren’t even aware of the darkness they are in.
What a sobering thought; you think you’re living for him, but in reality, you are walking in darkness. Jesus warned of this in Luke 11:33-35, “The light of the body is the eye: therefore, when thine eye is single, thy whole body also is full of light; but when thine eye is evil, thy body also is full of darkness. 35 Take heed therefore that the light which is in thee be not darkness.” Scores of “believers” claim they know Jesus, assert that they live for him, and may even do works in His name, but He doesn’t know them. They are simply religious, having not the love of God within them. (John 5:42) They walk in darkness.
Remember your first love. Go back to the place you left. It is absolutely possible for the Lord to snuff out your fire, but this happens because you have already left him. He hardens (further) the hardened heart. Soften your heart, repent, and go back! Remember from whence he delivered you! Rekindle the thoughts of his deliverance and burn for Him. You may be on a different trajectory than when you were younger. Burn bright where you are. If you are young and undistracted, STAY THE COURSE! Otherwise, you are in for a wild ride and risk having a divided heart and losing your first love.
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